Lets clear the air, I am a large, thick, fat, chunky, plus sized, obese woman. I know I’m fat. I am well aware of this. I have been fat ever since I can remember. I remember being placed on my first diet when I was five years old. FIVE YEARS OLD!!!! Think about that, I have been told explicitly and implicitly since I was five years old that my body was wrong and that it must change.
I was bullied in elementary school for my weight and this was reinforced at home and by extended family members. If body shaming actually caused people to lose weight I would be under 100 pounds now.
The thing about being a large woman is that people feel like they can comment on your body freely. People give me advice, comment on any preceived weight loss, share with me how their brother’s wife sister lost 30 pounds on whatever diet, and the worst of all… tell me how pretty my face is. Really??? Would you tell a skinny girl that she has a pretty face? Please!!!
I have tried everything (short of surgery) to change my body. I skipped meals, purged, used laxatives, and tried every diet on the planet. My largest success (I was never thin, only not as large) was on weight watchers where it teaches you to eat in balance and you do not feel deprived. But I was still doing it for the wrong reasons. I had just gone through a hard break up and I decided that the only way I would find someone to love me was to lose weight. Guess what happened? I met my now husband and I gained it all back.
As a therapist, if a person’s goal is to lose weight then I will 100% support them in that goal, but what makes my approach different is that I will help the person learn to love their bodies every step of the way. I will assist the person in building confidence and taking ownership of their bodies.
One thing that has taken me far too long to learn is that I am not only deserving of love when I am under a certain clothing size or number on the scale. I am deserving of love at any weight or size. My value is not based on how I look to others. It is not my problem if my weight bothers other people. That is their own issue, that they should be working with their own therapists.
So here I am starting a series on body empowerment and how to feel confident no matter how much or how little space your body takes up. To be clear weight loss is part of my personal journey and there probably will be blogs that discuss this, but no matter where I am in this journey I will (really really really) try to do so with love and respect to my body.
If you would like to join me, please follow for more healthy living and body positive stories.
*Information included in this blog does not constitute as medical or psychiatric advice and this blog does not included any paid endorsements. Please consult with you physician and/or a mental health professional to decide what is right for you.
You have such a beautiful heart and soul….these words spoke directly to me.. You should be so proud of yourself for the strength and knowledge you have about yourself…we should all be so smart. I, for one, am not so smart about my body image
I will absolutely follow your blog, and pro.ise to learn from you…Love you so much for all that you stand for…and thank you for this blog 💕
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I love your post. It spoke to me in ways you couldn’t even imagine. 💗 I have been trying to make peace with my body since last year and it has been a challenging exercise. It is even more difficult because the whole world feels free to judge my bigger body as you mentioned. I also write about body positivity in hopes that I can help women understand that beauty isn’t about size. 💗https://imperfectwomanblog.com/judge-my-body/
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