1. Go ahead and go to bed angry: They always tell us not to go to bed angry. This is completely false. Sometimes you need time to cool off. If you argue it out before bed you may say something you don’t mean. Go to sleep and wake up with a new perspective.
  2. Just because he is mad, doesn’t mean he is going to leave: If you are a child of divorce like I am, it is natural to expect the worse. You are not your parents and arguments do not mean the end.
  3. There will be times one of both of you can’t/don’t want to have sex: Believe it or not, you more than likely will have sex less often, but it will continue to get better (but you have to work at it). There will be days or weeks that you are too tired, too stressed, or too sick. This does not mean that you love each other any less. Your relationship is more than just sex.
  4. You may never get pregnant: We are told in our teens and early 20s that you could breathe too close to someone and get pregnant. While this may be true for some people, it may not be true for you. It will put you and your relationship to the test time after time.
  5. He will see all your crazy and will love you for it: Anxiety, tears, stress, frustration, feeling overwhelmed, feeling worthless, he will pick you up and make you feel whole.
  6. He is an introvert and will always be an introvert: He will not change a fundamental piece of his personality. He may compromise at times, but he is who he is. You can’t change him.
  7. You will have to remind him of things… over and over again: You will manage the home, this includes your husband. You will tell him to take his pill, ask him to call and make a doctor’s appointment, tell him to take his pill, remind him to call his friend, tell him to take his pill. Did I mention tell him to take his pill? And you will do it joyfully.
  8. You will be introduced to things you never know you needed in life: He will make you watch every comic book movie that comes out and you will learn to love it. You will crave food you never even knew existed.
  9. He will frustrate you more than anyone: He will leave the cabinets open, not put the dishes away where they belong, be in a bad mood when he gets out of work, tell you he does like what you cooked and wear clothes with holes in them. You have never known frustration like being frustrated at the man you married.
  10. He will love you more than you can ever thought possible: He will make you dinner when you are sick, he will rub your head as you cry, he will be your rock while you take care of your God Mother, he will hold you when your God Mother dies, he will literally help sit on/get up from the toilet after you have surgery and he will try not to laugh at you when you ask him to leave so you can pee without him in the room, so you can “keep a little mystery in the relationship“, and he will kiss you every day before you leave and everyday when you get back.

Most of all, after 5 years of marriage, 7 years of living together, and 8 years of love, I can’t imagine my life without him.

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Published by psychkatlife

Katherine Carter is a licensed mental health counselor practicing in Massachusetts. Katherine works full time as the Director of a residential program for women working towards recovery from drugs and alcohol. Katherine also works in private practice assisting individuals, couples and families meet their goals. Katherine's clinical interests include Addiction, Empowerment, LGBTQ and gender issues, mindfulness and chronic illness.

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